Dear Cindee,

I wanted to tell you I'm glad you were born! As kids we never had the opportunity to be ourselves and become who God created us to be, instead we became the children of confusion that we learned to be. In my pain and confusion I tried to control everything including my brothers and sisters, instead of loving them, because I didn't know what love was or how to express it. I lived in fear and learned to control by using angry words, physical force, or manipulation. I want you to know I'm sorry for the pain (physical and emotional) that I caused you. I'm sorry I added pain onto the heavy load you were already carrying. I was a kid thrown into the responsibility of raising kids. I hate it that we lost our childhood. I hate it that instead of being able to comfort and walk together in our pain, we each traveled that road alone. I was so insecure and lacked the skills and knowledge to be a sister let alone a parent to you. I wish I could go back and erase the past, but I can't. I wish I could take your pain away, but I can't. I just wanted to tell you I am sorry for all the hurt and pain I've caused you throughout the years (intentionally or unintentionally - it all feels the same). I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for the wrongs I've done to you.

I'm glad I have the opportunity now to really learn how to be a sister. It's a shame we missed out during our childhood, but at least we can now. I'm still learning and will make mistakes - so please be patient with me. I want you to know you are a beautiful, creative, lovely person. I value you as a person and as my sister. I can do that now because through therapy I'm learning to value and love myself, and by doing that I can let you be you and not be threatened by you but enjoy you. I love you and am glad I'm getting to know you!

P.S. - Don't stop dreaming and believing in yourself!
I'd like the first autographed copy of your book when it is finished!